i really don't know what's wrong with me nowadays....
i have a nagging feeling that something drastic will happen and i will be...not me anymore.
i'm scared.
needlessly so,you say?
i guess it cant be helped.. it's like i'm losing my mind nowadays..
my memory fails me.
my voice does not sound like it comes from me.
my smiles all look fake to me.
my head keeps hurting and my breath ragged.
i'm scared.
i know my mind shies away from where my brain locks the painful memories,but....
what if i cant remember everyone?
what if i cant remember the things we do,the things you do,the things i do?
what if i cant...remember me?
forbidden to remember;yet terrified to forget... it's a hard line to walk.
i can't sleep.
i'm too terrified to do so.
what if that something happened during this time?
i cant take it.
my head hurts every time i think of stuff like this.
it's depressing but i cant think of anything else.
maybe it's time i acquired professional help.
i cant even afford tuition. see a shrink? i doubt that possibility.
i'm not crazy. i'm not crazy. i'm not crazy. i'm not crazy.
i'm just unwell.
i dunno when--if--i ould ever become well again,but this is the best i can do.
i'll try to live. somehow or another i will.
even if i turn zombie.
