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underneath the stars

"Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore, and there was no more reason for anything."
~Edward Cullen ~

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Adopted from squiby
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
self-infliction
3/05/2008 10:51:00 pm

its not like i have not tried to salvage our relationship. you kept sinking the bridge i tried to build. if so, this is a losing battle.

its not like i have not tried. i try to smile and when i see familiar faces. i try to act as though i am okay.
but i am not. i am not okay. some days, i want to avoid people as much as possible,and they will call me "iso-kia" [person who isolates him/herself]

if i don't smile, i'm anti-social.
if i don't smile, i'm emo.
if i don't smile, you think i am too high of myself.
if i don't smile, you think i am angry and stressed.

why must i smile for you?
why must i smile when i am not happy?
why must i smile when i am on the verge of tears?

if i continue,i will soon lose myself.
is it better to have no emotions at all,i wonder..?

song lyrics - coming clean
singer: hillary duff

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy

[Chorus:]
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin


'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Than always staying in
Feel the wind

[Chorus]

I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean...

[Chorus x2]

Let's go back
Back to the beginning



how i feel can never change.


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