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yes. i shall talk about the emo part first. you can skip to the part where i end my rant and tell you more fun things.[rant]i find that life in poly is actually fun. i mean, i have all my friends and classmates and all who are awesome people. i met cosplayers/senpai-s i can learn so much stuff from and do epic stuff together.i just feel that i shouldnt be in my course any longer. i feel so depressed. more and more each day as i look at my non-improving work and the disappointing grades i've been getting.and the ideas i have suck so much to the core. not that i have many ideas to begin with but still.my class/course mates have to suffer from my ranting and uselessness as well, and always encouraging me and helping me but sometimes i think i dont deserve them at all. i mean, i havent even done anything for you people! (which means i should go do something)its not that i dont appreciate all you people do for me though.i'm actually ranting because i hate myself alot. for my uselessness and everything. just me,me, and me. (oh gosh so egotistical)and i realised i've been more depressed and withdrawn these few days though i still crap alot/finding topics to chat about. maybe you'd get tired of me talking and talking someday. maybe its pms. maybe i'm sinking back into my 'emo and i'm-useless-sh*t mode'.i'm just so tired,uninspired,and useless.please dont let me sink back into my depression mode. i hate to fake smiles at everyone and pretend to listen to them while i'm stuck in my own thoughts all day.[/rant]okay,i feel a little better now. maybe. anyhows, i shall talk about the YOG Appreciation Dinner yesterday (:the sad thing was that it turned out a little (?!?!?!?) shabby. i (and not only me) have thought that dinner=wedding dinner - ish style (aka sit at table and getting served like at weddings) so some of us wore real nice and stuff. in the end it turned out to be a buffet. i had a melon slice and some (yellow) orange squash. (yes,its yellow in color though they call it orange squash)the cosplayers and i were doing epic stuff. we chatted real long about all things under the sun. we got a cleaning guy/buffet vendor worker to help us with some photos (you can see them on facebook) we got out of compound by crawling/rolling under the gate. we walked to the station and continued chatting, and toky found this good-for-photoshoot place.i felt horrid for ditching my classmates though. i'd have loved to spend time with them but i have no skill to split myself into pieces (though i do that mentally alot.)i wishes to have kagebunshin no jutsu!!!and more money for cosplay plox.back to more work now.. byebye~