i think i'm trying to do too many things at once.work, then when i go home i wanna start on actually finishing my Blaze Edge but i never do it.
and then i keep thinking about my cosplay plans and that i should draw and that i wanna make some video with my friends and how i have a hundred and one things to do
but i just keep slacking and go onto facebook to play castle age and i keep getting distracted by One Piece and fan ficts and whatnot OTL
also, my fats are making me feel worse about myself OTL
i needa start drawing though. if not i wont have things for my portfolio in time to come, which will indefinitely kill me TAT
idk.its like you keep saying that you dont want/need something, but you feel like you're subconsciously craving it. or something like that.
like attention for example.
its like you'll say things or pretend to be sick or whatnot so people can pay attention to you, but then when they do you get kinda shy and say 'no i'm fine.'
or or. dieting
telling yourself you need to slim down but still eating alot and telling yourself that you're actually not that fat so a little is fine (when the little is somehow alot)
and this one. trust/guilt
one of the strangest things ever.
you fight with your friends and then you tell yourself never to talk to them ever again.
you delete them from your facebook, msn, phone, etc. but you remember their numbers forever already and add them back on later.
and this happens after you talk to other friends who tell you another side of the story and you have problems trusting the friends you fight with .
then you feel guilty for not trusting them at first and feel bad about the bad things you did to them. but even with this guilt you still dont trust them.
what is this i dont even
argh i'm not making sense here am i
/goes to read
i dont care if its friggin 2.40am
i have cramps and i cant sleep with it D8
